Secrets of a Rilkean Heart

My ex-lover is (figuratively) dead

thereandbackagainlane — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 16:31:01 +0000

I’m not sorry I met you.

I’m not sorry it’s over.

I’m not sorry there’s nothing to say.

I’m not sorry.

Jenny and the dream of fishes, Chun-li and Tali.

thereandbackagainlane — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 05:21:26 +0000

Out on a small boat on a lake with water that you cannot see. There is a huge purple, pink and orange fish wagging its tail. It had about 4 pairs of legs and feet. I saw them through the invisible water. I wanted to take a picture of the 8-legged fish, only to find that I don’t have my phone with me.

At the mall, somebody screaming, Chun-Li is here! (Chun-Li?) I clambered along the direction of everyone else. Ended up at some tailoring shop where Chun-Li ( Chun-Li, really? I still can’t believe it) was choosing fabrics for her costume (Oh, this is too much). She was telling people to keep still as she will be letting them take her picture. She was telling this in Tagalog, which surprised ad delighted me. I took out my phone and was trying real hard to get a good shot of her. As I was snapping away, my phone casing cracked into pieces and I am left with a phone with its innards showing.

Running up a wide, seemingly endless spiral staircase, shouting out a friend’s name. The only person who can help me get my phone fixed. I stare at my phone. It appeared to have swollen and shrunk at the same time. I was disheartened.

Tali is now singing softly to me, soothing me:

You know I’m thinking of you

In the bookstore, in the laundromat

Guess how much I love you

Much more, more than that

More than that

And then I woke up and realized that was my phone ringing.

Whew.

My dear iPhone,

thereandbackagainlane — Thu, 28 May 2009 18:06:20 +0000

You have to stop giving me sleepless nights. I have a 7am shift tomorrow and this… this is madness. Sometimes I wonder if i own you or I’m the one owned. Damn you, Apple. And damn me too.

Obsessively yours,

Jen

Busy Pretending to Be Busy

thereandbackagainlane — Fri, 22 May 2009 00:25:24 +0000

Hey, I missed you blog! It’s been what- 2 weeks since I last posted? Two reasons. One being that HotSpotShield has been erratically connected and disconnected which makes accessing China-banned websites a pain in the you know where. Two, I’ve just been very busy with a lot of things:

1. My new bike

Yes, after how many months of longing, I finally got myself one. Nothing flashy and expensive, just a simple and small bike, with a basket in front for my bag. Since it isn’t shiny new, it blends with other people’s bikes (when parked) and, hopefully, will not encourage bike bandits. And apart from saving so much on cab fare, I’m thrilled to be living like a Shanghai local going to the office, supermarket, and wherever else my poor legs can pedal to. Oh, and nothing beats the feel of the wind on my face and the breeze blowing my hair. And Camera Obscura’s French Navy playing in my ear. I just LOVE bicycling.

2. My new iPhone 3G

For a good two weeks now, MacCarthy- my lovely lovely whitebook- has been jealous of the attention I’ve been giving my shiny new toy. No matter what the Apple or Iphone (or both) detractors might say- the iPhone one heck of a gadget. I am crazy about it. It has replaced my iPod (actually I gave my old one back home and have not been able to buy a new one since I got back in SH), my MacBook and my Sony Ericsson K800 mobile phone. With the many things I can do with it like iTunes remote, Facebook, YM, Last.fm, WordPress, E-reader, Mewseek, I sometimes forget it’s a mobile phone. Even though I wasn’t exactly planing on buying it this month, I don’t regret that things happened so fast and I already have one. I am enslaved by my iPhone. Even if it does have a sucky 2MP camera – for which I downloaded a handful of applications for taking somewhat better photos, which leads me to the other thing that kept me busy recently-

3. The 99RMB Daytrip to Fengjing

A miraculous thing happened. I had a Saturday off, as well as my most favourite friends at work- Ross, Chi and Cris! This has never happened in the last 6 month with my previous editing job and the crazy work skeds I’ve been getting. And it just so happened that last Saturday was the 3rd Saturday of the month and we were able to join the 99RMB daytrip to Fengjing organized by China Spring Tours. 99RMB! That’s the cheapest any trip outside SH could get, and we got it. Even if we had no idea about the place and what to expect, we had so much fun. The bus ride to and from Fengjing was pleasant, the free lunch was surprisingly delectable and the chance to go on a trip with new faces (other SH expats ) was a much-needed breather from the usual and sickening faces we see everyday at work. (Peace, colleagues!). This was the day I decided to break-in the iPhone camera. Some photos turned out well enough- thanks to the Camera Bag app and Photoshop. Here’s a link to the photos taken that day with the iPhone on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2023663&id=1097858568&l=c365ac5f56

4. I can Photoshop!

Since some of the iPhone photos only looked good in the iPhone, I had to resort to some retouching and subjected myself to a cash course on Photoshop. I’ve had the program in my laptop, taking up the largest disk space for the longest time and I told myself, if I’m not able to learn how to use it, I’m gonna have to delete it. Thanks to this little Fengjing Fotoshop project, it’s staying.

5. I am single and free again. Really Single and free. Finally.

Self-explanatory.

So that’s about it for now. My 2 weeks worth of activities, packed in 647 words.

Silent survival

thereandbackagainlane — Mon, 04 May 2009 05:40:32 +0000

everyday, i drown myself in coffee, coke and cigarettes.

everyday.

everyday, i listen to songs that make me dance.

i dance when i’m sad.

everyday, i do distracting things to keep me from wondering about you.

but i still do.

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Update 050709:

And I really hate it that i still feel this way because I end up writing crappy stuff like this.